Before anybody gets angry, this is not what you think it is. True, I’ve come "out of the closet and into the street." But my protest is against an archaic federal tax system that yields harsh results without rhyme or reason.

First, let me make it clear that I have nothing against gays and lesbians. I grew up in Greenwich Village, only a stone’s throw from the infamous "Stone Wall." I developed an early respect and tolerance for alternate lifestyles.

To this day, I maintain an office in Greenwich Village. I am honored to count members of the gay community as some of my best friends and clients.

I have gained many insights as a result of my lifelong affiliation with this community. I can tell you from firsthand observation that not all gay men are hairstylists, and not all hairstylists are gay. Just like the "Village People," I’ve worked for gay construction workers, soldiers, sailors, and civil servants of all sorts. There have been countless openly gay/lesbian doctors and lawyers (I once even had a consultation with a Native American "chanter," but I have no idea as to his sexual preference). I’ve even known tough guys with Mafia connections who made no attempt to conceal their homosexuality from their peers.

I’ve learned the best way to pick a fight in most parts of the country is to insult another man’s masculinity. Whereas, the same "fighting words" would be taken as a complement in Greenwich Village.

Another significant observation is that gay and lesbian relationships are very similar to so-called "straight relationships." In many cases, gays are even a tad less promiscuous.

Despite all of my insights and understanding of the gay community, I still can’t figure out why gay people would want to get married. Admittedly, there may be legal benefits for some. In my view, the legal disadvantages will far outweigh those benefits. There is no reason to conclude the divorce rate among gays would be any different from the rate for traditional marriages. Since about half of traditional marriages end in divorce, one could argue that the phrase "happily married" is an oxymoron.

I couldn’t begin to ponder the complications upon break up of a gay marriage. My guess is gay divorces would be even more complex than traditional divorces because of the unique, uncharted nature of this area of the law.

The tax law, on the other hand, is very clear. The tax code is also very much out of date. The provisions dealing with filing status for married couples originated in the "Internal Revenue Code of 1954." What was originally intended as a break for marrieds has backfired, and we now have the "Marriage Penalty Tax."

Back in the 50s, it was the norm for father to go out to work while mother stayed home and took care of the kids. Congress decided to give married couples a break by allowing lower tax rates on a "joint return."

This works well, even today, as long as only one spouse has income. The problem arises when both spouses work. Then, you have to add both incomes together. The result is almost always a higher tax rate than if both spouses were single individuals.

The higher rate is not the only problem. There are usually increased limitations and lost credits as well.

Fortunately, lower income taxpayers usually pay lower penalties, sometimes only a couple of hundred dollars. However, once your joint income exceeds $50,000 per year the penalty can be disastrous. It can result in a 28% tax on the secondary wage earner’s income, instead of the 15% tax they would have paid if they remained single. Higher income couples pay even higher "Marriage Penalties" that can reach thousands of dollars.

One might argue the tax code has outlived its usefulness in this area. Or, possibly, that Congress should not have granted a special break to married couples back in 1954. One might even argue that the institution of marriage itself has outlived its usefulness. However, all would agree that we should not punish those brave souls who try to make a life together. They are bound to suffer enough punishment already.

There is a simple solution to this problem. Just amend the code to allow married couples to file separate returns as single individuals. Problem solved!

Although our political leaders have paid lip service to this issue, they refuse to even consider such a simple and equitable solution. They are the ones hiding the truth in the closet. They cannot admit that a fair and simple tax code would cost too much money. Our leaders prefer to collect a harsh, unfair tax rather than take the decisive action needed to replace the lost revenue.

So I urge all gays and straights to join me in my fight against the status quo. I won’t tell you who I voted for, but I will say I wore a green shirt into the voting booth.

A final word of straight advice to my gay friends, "Be careful what you wish for..."